The Confidence Quiz
The Confidence Gap, The Atlantic
: If people who confidently spew half-truths are the most successful, why should meek women try to emulate this pathway to success? And do books like this take advantage of the very downtrodden women without esteem who are willing to do almost anything to compensate.
0Confidence Quiz Outcome
Low Confidence (surprise, surprise)
Thank you for participating in The Confidence Code Assessment!
You are now part of one of the first research studies specifically related to women and confidence and we’re excited to work together to gather insight that will help women around the world embrace confidence in their lives.
Based on your responses to this quiz, you have lower than average confidence.
0What does that mean?
First, you are not alone. Many women, at some point in their lives, including us, find ourselves on this end of the spectrum. In general, you are more likely to feel uncertain of your opinions and of your abilities. You are probably quite risk-averse, and may be critical of what others would embrace for themselves as success.
0How can you work to improve your confidence?
We believe there are a number of things you can do to start improving your confidence – here’s what we suggest:
To help build your confidence, start small. Those of us who are confidence-challenged frequently feel overwhelmed. So start by deconstructing a larger challenge or assignment into smaller ones. Teasing out the individual parts of a challenge, and accomplishing even one-tenth of it, can give you a confidence boost. And just working towards a goal and taking action creates positive momentum.
For example, if you are nervous about giving a speech at an upcoming event, break it down by setting a small goal for yourself of brainstorming for just 5 minutes a day. Once you’ve brainstormed, spend another 5 minutes a day polishing the speech. And once it’s polished, spend 5 minutes a day practicing in front of a mirror.
New research shows that gratitude is one of the keys to happiness and an optimistic mindset. That mindset encourages confidence. And this demands a slight change in perception. Find gratitude in the tiny things: As someone lets you merge into traffic, notice, and be grateful, instead of just zipping ahead looking for your next maneuver. And – just say thank you when you get a compliment. Believe, and be grateful for, the kind words said about you. It will transform your mood, and simply saying, “Thank you, I appreciate that,” will also make the other person feel good.
(Yeah, I don't think so. I spend all my time groveling with gratitude.)
NATS man the frontlines in the assault on confidence, and they are every bit as annoying and insidious as their phonetic twin. We’re talking about negative automatic thoughts. Unfortunately, they buzz around more frequently than positive thoughts, and can multiply at lightning speed. They are thoughts such as, “That dress was too expensive, why did I waste my money?” or “I’ll never finish this project; I knew I wasn’t up to it,” that never seem to leave our brain.
The only way to get rid of NATs is by challenging them with logic. First, recognize the NAT. Then, use the 3 to 1 rule to get rid of them. For every 1 NAT – a bad thought – think of 3 good things you’ve done that day to banish the NAT. Do this every time a NAT pops into your head. “That dress looks good on me. I’ll wear it often. I needed a new one.”
If you’re struggling to come up with positive alternatives by yourself, imagine what you would tell a friend who confessed to having that same negative thought. This is putting self-compassion into action. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can trim those debilitating feelings down to size. It’s easy to do for others, yet we let them roam freely in our own brains.
That’s right – you’re terrified of asking for a pay raise, talking to a stranger or raising your hand at a meeting. Imagine the very worst thing that could happen to you if you did. You’d be surprised at that how really, even the worst possible outcome isn’t that bad. The sky won’t fall on your head. The earth won’t swallow you whole – you will still be alive and standing. Just knowing that can help you realize the costs of failure are nearly always worth the risk that comes with trying something just outside your comfort zone. Actively identify one bite-sized risk each week you are willing to take. And tell us how it goes.